I have included in this story only a small selection of the script of a play, enough to convey the meaning of the story. CM
*****
My next door neighbour is a bitch. I have been trying for ages to get to know her without a great deal of success. The reason that I persevere is because she is worth the effort, the pain and humiliation.
The difference between cats and dogs is that a dog, if you feed it will love you to death, if you pat it, its tail will wag and it will look adoringly at you. A cat on the other hand, if you feed it, it will treat you with disdain and more than likely slink off when it's finished, without even acknowledging your existence. Talk to it, it will look down its nose at you, pat it and it will turn its back on you. Unless that is, it feels like it, then it becomes a different matter, it will rub against your leg or whatever part of your anatomy is closest, it will talk to you, it develops a two stroke motor, two strokes and it purrs loudly. But any attempt to prolong this show of affection will probably cause it to lash out with its claws and tell you in no uncertain terms to back off.
My neighbour is a cat. If she wants me to do something for her (a rare occurrence), she is a pleasure to be with, she is friendly, affectionate almost. On the other hand, if I should want something from her, or even if I say hello to her before she speaks, I am treated with disdain, she will not even acknowledge my existence.
She's not just any old cat, not your average moggie, oh no, she's an aristocrat, a Siamese, from her piercing blue eyes that look at you, (me) through hooded lids, to the way that she walks. She has that slinking grace of a catwalk model, with that slow cross-over step that creates a provocative sway to her arse as she walks away from me, (a common enough practise) that causes a barely controllable sensation in my groin. The thing is that she knows the effect that she has on my groin, which is exactly why she does it. Like I said, she's a bitch, and I love her.
Her name is Adrianna Conover and she owns a fashion boutique in a nearby shopping mall. Only it's not your normal boutique, oh no, it's a lingerie boutique that sells top end, and very sexy lingerie. Not the kind of everyday stuff you see advertised in brochures and on TV. Not the kind of stuff that the makers of porn videos try to make us believe is sexy, this is the kind of lingerie that men buy for their mistresses, to be worn briefly, in private.
I even went as far as to invent a mistress, just so that I could buy some of her gear. I even went to one of her fashion shows just to see her parading with other models in her garments. She knew that I didn't have a mistress, and, as she strutted the catwalk, she looked directly into my eyes and half smiled at me. She was enjoying herself at my expense.
In case you've got the impression that I'm some sort of perverted stalker, I feel the need to explain this obsession that I have with Adrianna Conover. I am a reasonably successful, but still amateur, Playwright whose works have been presented by some of the leading theatre companies around Australia. I am also a Director in Residence, an honorary title, with our local theatre company. This particular gig doesn't pay any money, but I do it because it gives me the opportunity of nurturing local talent. It also gives me a small scale barometer for my new works, if they work here I can present them to the major companies with a degree of confidence.
I am currently working on a new play specifically so that I can try to interest Adrianna in joining our company in a starring role. In order to do that I have to observe her, her style, her character, her likes and dislikes, at present I seem to fit into the dislike category, in fact everything about her, so that I can construct a character that is both flattering and not too much of a stretch for her acting talents. These are unknown and untested at the moment.
My original concept was to cast her in the role of a mistress to a wealthy man, a Judge or something like that. A successful mistress has her attributes, the ability to have her lover always wanting more, of creating a fantasy that his wife can never compete with. To establish the reality of this scenario I cast myself as the lover, imagining what it would be like to have her constantly keeping me barred up, (in a state of arousal) of wanting her all of the time and not just when we were together. My vision was of us making love, of her controlling it, teasing me into hardness and withdrawing, only to arouse me again before relenting and allowing me to make love to her, while all the time retaining total control over the whole process. This part of the fantasy kept my hand fully occupied. I have never masturbated so much in my entire life, my teen years included.
A reality check saw me ditch this scenario. The local community would never allow me to present a play that could only be classified as pornographic, and I could not see her allowing me to direct her in anything as degrading as the story of a mistress, no matter that it depicted this occupation in a positive light. I would also find it impossible to direct a play like this without making a total fool of myself by declaring my love for her.
I filed it away on a memory card so that I could read it and jerk off when I was feeling sexually denied.
My next concept was to cast her as a Secretary who falls in love with her boss and he asks her to do something for him that is not only dangerous, but illegal. She at first agrees to his plan, he asks her to do it just after making love to her, this is not set in concrete yet, knowing that following love she would agree to anything. She agrees, but in the cold light of the next day realises that this request is all wrong. How could he say that he loves her yet place her in this dangerous situation. Behind his back she goes to the police. She allows them to talk her into working with them to bring this plan unstuck, and in the process she falls in love with one of the detectives (me). Her boss is caught and she is rewarded by the company CEO and Board with a substantial salary increase and a promotion, but she gives this up for a life as the wife of the Detective. I didn't like this bit, although I could visualise the final scene when I kiss Adrianna Conover (not her character) and she realises just how much I love her, and that she loves me.
Then I hit on a story of a young woman who comes home, following the end of her disastrous marriage, to care for her dying mother. The town has changed radically from the one she left with high hopes, and she realises that she has lost touch with the friends of her past, and that to re-connect she has to find her old self. At her mother's funeral she is shocked to find that her mother had few friends. As she begins the re-connection process she realises that her mother had distanced herself from the few friends that she had, and that her loneliness was of her own doing. It is then that she also realises that her own attitude to her contemporaries, before she left town, has resulted in her having even fewer friends left in town, and she is forced to set about making new friends.
In the play I hinted that Adrianna's attitude to me, if this was indicative of her attitude to other people, was hardly likely to win friends. That to win friends one has to show affection, not on one's own terms, but at all times, to be a dog and love unconditionally, not a cat that shows conditional affection.
I drafted the original script, and put it before the theatre group committee. They accepted it, but were then sceptical when I suggested that we should not cast one of the current female actors in the lead, but instead an untried amateur. I argued that the woman that I had in mind had the looks and style as well as having experienced the same emotions as the main character, so the part would not be a stretch for her. The play was accepted as the next production with the proviso that I was given the task of convincing Adrianna to take the role.
I timed my entry into her world to coincide with her assistant's lunch break. She looked at me for a couple of seconds. "Good afternoon, how may I help you?" No personal recognition, although I knew that she had recognised me.
"Hi Adrianna, as you know I'm Spencer Fletcher, your neighbour. I am actually here in my official capacity as Director in Residence of the Montmorency Theatre Company. I know that sounds pretentious, us being a small local company and all, but I've written a new play and I would like you to read it and tell me what you think of it."
"Why on earth do you think that I would be the slightest bit interested in the scribblings of a small town hack?"
"This small town hack as you put it, has had works performed by the Sydney Theatre Company, Belvoir Street, and several other major companies around Australia, he also has a work in pre-production, with shooting to begin once the Producers lock in the female lead. This work has been accepted for our next production, but before this happens I need feedback on my main character from someone outside the theatre world. There is something wrong with her that I can't place my finger on, and while I have to admit that, externally at least, I have based her on you, it is the internal person that I need help with." This was a blatant ego caress that I hoped would work. The next few minutes were important to me.
"Oh, all right, I'll read your stupid play." She snatched the script from my hand. "If for no other reason than if I don't, you'll continue to look at me with that hang-dog look of yours until I give in." So she had noticed me.
"Thank you, I will respect your feedback, whatever it is."
"It might not be what you expect."
It would probably be exactly what I expect. "That doesn't matter, I just want your opinion. Good-bye." It was me that cut off the contact, I turned my back on her and walked with as much dignity as I could muster from her boutique. As soon as I was out of her sight I collapsed. I couldn't believe that I had just managed to get her to read my play. How well she reads it remains to be seen, I would just have to wait for her reaction.
It took her two days to get back to me. My door bell rang just as I had sat down to my breakfast. I took a gulp of coffee and headed for the door, hoping that it wasn't the Jehovah's Witnesses, who had taken to trying to convert me into their way of thinking.
She stood there, my script in her hand and a purposeful expression on her face. I couldn't work out if this was good or bad. "You bastard." It was bad. "You utter bastard. Have you been delving into my past life?"
"No. I invented a character that I thought fitted your external appearance. I have no idea who you were or what you had done before you moved in next door. The story that went around was that you had returned home to look after your terminally ill mother. The fact that you stayed on after she died led to my invention of the character of Katerina that you see in that play. If it's too close to home, I'm sorry." Like hell I was. The sole purpose of all of this was to get back at her for treating me the way that she had, and to show her that you cannot treat people in that way.
"It's too close to home, yes, but I can see what you're trying to do. You think that I have been treating you like shit with no good reason, and you want to teach me a lesson. But you've fucked up, because you gave this character a reason that is so close to the truth it's scary, as if you know everything that there is to know about me."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know anything at all about you, I made it all up." This conversation had taken place at my front door. "Look, I'm having a cup of coffee, breakfast actually, won't you come in, I'll make you a coffee and we can discuss this in a civilised manner." I thought for a second that she was going to decline my offer.
She surprised me. "I'd like that, thank you." She sat at the table while I brewed her a coffee, a proper coffee from my espresso machine, that was one of my few indulgences. "I'm impressed." She commented after her first sip. "This is nice coffee."
I was almost going to question her thinking that I'd serve her rubbish coffee, but discretion got the better of me. "Thank you, I hate ordinary coffee, so I have this machine that I can programme to make it the way that I like it. I was hoping that it was the way that you like it as well."
"How thoughtful of you. Getting back to this play that you've written, and the made up character of Katerina. When I first began to read this I was close to tearing it up, and then I saw that, while she wasn't a nice person initially, the circumstances changed her for the better, and I came to realise that these changes are exactly the changes that I need to make."
"Don't change everything about yourself because of this."
"What do you mean?"
"Your character is perfect in the work situation, The style and aloofness that you project are what your customers expect. I have seen you operate and I'm impressed at how well your business character handles some of the situations that confront you. Like the overblown middle aged women who think that, by buying a lacy black bra and panties, they are somehow going to be once more attractive to a husband who is already looking at younger, more attractive women."
She smiled at that. "You really notice people, don't you. You don't just look at the external person, you delve into their innermost being. You are good, I'll give you that."
"Thank you for that, It's reassuring to have this kind of feedback. If I were a dog I'd love you forever."
"What brought this particular analogy on?"
"Well, now don't get offended, but there are people who are like dogs, feed them a compliment and they will love you unconditionally. And then there are people that are like cats, all the flattery in the world will not get them to like you, unless they want to like you. Cats show affection on their terms and their terms only."
"And I'm a cat person, is that it?"
"Yes."
"And you're a dog person?"
"Most of the time, yes."
"You realise of course that cats and dogs don't get along?"
"Not all of the time. When I was a kid we had a cat and a dog. To say that the poor dog was confused was an understatement. There were times when the two of them slept together, the cat curled up in the middle of the dog, but then there were times when the cat couldn't stand the dog, and would haul off and scratch him on the nose if he got too close."
"And I'm that cat? There are times when I'm friendly towards you, and then the next time we meet I treat you like shit. This is one hell of a play, I must come and see it."
"That brings me to the favour that I want from you."
"Oh?" She was cautious and curious at the same time.
"As the Director, I have to make the final decision on the casting."
"And this affects me how?"
"I would like it, love it, if you would take the role of Katerina."
"No. Oh no. There is no way that you're getting me on stage, especially not in a play that is this close to home."
"But don't you see, this could be good for you, cathartic even. It will give you the opportunity to meet new people, make new friends, not to mention that, as I'm the Director, we will be forced to work closely together."
"So this has all been a lead up to this request, and you think that I would jump at the chance of stardom, so we could work together, and you can break down my barriers and get into my pants."
"No, nothing like that." (There I go, lying again.) "Well that isn't the main reason." I noticed a smile. "I just think that you could bring more to this role than an actor who has to imagine what this character is like. The female actors in the group all lead comfortable, trouble free lives."
"But, I don't think that I could bare my soul on stage, what is it 8 times a week for how long, 4 weeks. You are asking too much, I can't do it." I noticed that she said 'can't' and not 'won't'.
"I think that you can, otherwise I would never have asked you."
"What about you? If you cast yourself as the male lead you will have to bring your emotions to the stage, I have this feeling that you are as damaged as I am, that you are just as much afraid of a new relationship as I am. What is your story Spencer Fletcher?"
This caught me by surprise. I was not prepared to discuss my pain with her or anyone, not even a Psychologist. It was my pain and I would deal with it in my way, and writing is my way of escaping from that pain.
"My story, you don't want to hear my story."
"Yes I do. You are ready to force me into baring my soul in public, so you should be prepared to do the same thing yourself. From what my mother told me, and what I have managed to find out, you arrived here about ten years ago and quickly established yourself as a secretive and reclusive writer who was not comfortable with the world at large knowing anything about him. You hide behind your persona of Writer slash Director of this theatre company, but refuse entry into your life to anyone, no matter how hard they try. They have tried, haven't they, the women in the theatre company?"
"Yes. You are right about all of that. Sooner or later I will have to face the fact that life for me can never recreate my former life, and I should stop trying to live in the past. What do you want to know?"
"Not now, I don't have the time. I've got to go to work and make my fortune. Thank you for the coffee at least." With that she was gone.
I re-read my script and made a few changes based on her reaction to the original, but I still wasn't happy with the result. It was Sunday before Adrianna made an appearance. I was out front washing my car when she walked up my driveway. "Hi Spencer, do you have a minute?"
"Sure, what can I do for you?"
"I want to go through your script with you, I need some changes made before I will agree to taking the role."
Wow! This is a change. She's gone from no way to giving it some thought to yes with changes. I turned the hose off. "Come in and let's have a look at it. I've made a couple of changes myself, but I'm certainly open to further suggestions."
"Before we begin, are you prepared to tell me your story?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No, a case of 'no tell no help' with this script from me." She had me over a barrel.
"Now where do we start?"
"Coffee first." I made us a coffee and we sat in my study, she had her copy of the script spread out on the desk and I had both a hard copy and the screen copy on my computer open.
I took a deep breath. "Around twelve years ago I had it all, a successful career as an Advertising Copy Writer with one of the big agencies in Sydney. I was married to Jen, a beautiful girl who ran the café where I bought my many cups of coffee during the day. We had plans for the future that included kids and possibly a dog or cat, we hadn't decided which . . . ."
"Darling." We had just made love and were feeling great. "You know that we have plans for children?"
"Yes." Where was this heading?
"Well," She looked me in the eyes and then kissed me. "I am pregnant. I went to see my doctor the other day, he rang me this afternoon and he has confirmed that we are pregnant."
My world had just moved from great to perfect. "That's wonderful, I am so happy right now."
The next day my work colleagues all commented on my happiness, and when I told them the reason, they found themselves included, it was that kind of work environment, where we were one huge family. I was showered with congratulations and kisses from the girls in the office. Life didn't get much better than this.
It lasted less than a day.
I walked out of my building and headed down the street to her café, only to find it surrounded by police and an ambulance. My entry into the café was blocked by a large policeman. "You can't go in there sir, this is a crime scene."
"But my wife, she owns this place. What has happened? Is she all right?"
"You had better come with me." He lifted up the yellow tape and led me to the end of my dreams. There was a sheet on the floor covering a body. There was Belinda, the girl that worked there sitting at a table in tears and a Detective asking her questions.
"Belinda, what has happened?"
"Oh Spencer, I'm sorry, so sorry." She dissolved into a flood of tears.
"And you are?" The Detective asked.
"My name is Spencer Fletcher, my wife Jen owns this place. I assume that the body under that sheet is her." The corner of the sheet was lifted, she looked so peaceful and it wasn't until I saw the blood oozing out from under her arm that the reality of her death hit me. That was pretty much me gone for the time being. It was hours later that I began to make sense of what turned out to be a senseless waste of, as it happened, two lives. I was in hospital being treated for shock. I had no idea how long I had been there, or how long I would have to stay in this place.
I went back to work a week later, but I was useless as a Copy Writer, I was useless as a man. Everyone was understanding and kind to me. The execs were understanding of my fuck ups and inability to produce. It was me that lacked understanding. It turned out that it was a robbery gone horribly wrong. A man had come into the café wearing a balaclava and pointed a pistol at Belinda demanding money from the register. What he didn't know was that the day's takings had been removed and Jen had just taken it to the bank's night safe. When she walked back in and saw what was happening she reacted on instinct, and threw herself at the man. He attempted to flee the scene but was stopped by a passer-by who held him, none too gently until the police arrived and arrested him. He told the police that he didn't mean to kill her, but that he had panicked and the gun went off. What made the situation even worse was that he was Belinda's boyfriend. He was an Ice addict and he needed money for drugs. He knew that the café was successful, and made a lot of money, but that's where his planning essentially finished. He hadn't thought it through, and he hadn't asked Belinda what the routine was as far as the money was concerned, in fact she did not know, at least that's what she told the police, that he was planning to rob the place.
I was given a month off work. But a month was nowhere near enough, a year would not have been enough, ten years was not enough. I have never gotten over the end of my life, it is still bottled up inside me, this writing gig is a barely successful coping mechanism."
"So there you have it, the sad story of a sad, sad man, living a sad life."
"Jesus, and I thought that I had it tough." Adrianna came around to my chair and hugged me. It was a sympathy hug, I could read nothing more than that into it. "This conversation between Katerina and her mother on page 2, I think that it could be a little more direct." She was attempting to distract me, to take my mind off my pain. It was back to business.
"So do I, but I was treading lightly, I didn't want to scare you off."
"Believe me, when I first looked at it I was scared, but then I read further and now it doesn't fit into what happens later."
I had my own ideas as to how it should have played, so we'll see how close I was. "Okay, what do you suggest?"
"Well, Mother knows that she's dying and doesn't have long to live, so she doesn't care if she offends Katerina, so she tells it the way that she feels it should be told. Look." She showed me her copy of the page and where I had written:
Mother: "You listen to me girl, you think you know what is best for me, but you know nothing. You know it all when you marry that man, and now you come home without him, because you know not enough to keep him. You know nothing about this thing that I have, but you still tell me that you know it all. You listen to me, I was like you, I know it all, but when your father died I thought my world would end, so I don't care about people, I care only for me. Now I have only me."
Katerina: "You have me Mama."
Mother: "I do not have you, you alone have you. If you do like I do you will always only have you. I tell you this for your own good, forget about me, you can do nothing for me now. Think of what you will do after I go. I do not tell you to go back to your husband, but do not turn your back on people just because you have been hurt by him."
In its place she had written:
Mother:"You listen to me girl. When your father died I shut myself off from the world, I wanted nothing more to do with it. And you see what the result is. I am dying, and I am dying alone, because those people who tried to be a friend to me, I turned my back on. Do not do this or you will be like me."
Katerina: "But Mother you have me."
Mother:"Did I have you when your father died? No. Did I have you when the doctor told me that I was dying? No. You come to me only when my life is over, to help me die. It is too late for your help, if this is all that you have come for, you wasted the trip."
Katerina:But Mama, I have to come, I cannot stay any longer in the same place as my husband, he has hurt me as you said that he would. He is a bad man."
Mother:"What did he do that has hurt you so bad?"
Katerina: "He wants to do things to me that are wrong. I cannot let him fuck me in the arse. I cannot let him tie me up and whip me. I cannot let him pee on me. These are just some of the things that he wants to do to me. Then I find that he has a girl that lets him do these things. I can no longer even allow him to touch me, so I leave."
Mother:For this reason it is good that you come to me. Do not turn your back on people because this bad man has hurt you. But it is not a good time for me. I will die soon."
"This is pretty much what my mother told me when I came home after my bastard of a husband forced me to end our marriage. He told me that if I didn't do what he wanted me to, he would find someone who would. I wasn't to know then that he already had found someone, he wanted me to break off the marriage. I didn't know what to do, the people that I thought would support me turned their backs on me out of loyalty to him. He never allowed me friends of my own. I was lost, and it was the world's fault, not mine. I came home, not to care for her, I never really cared for her, but for her to help me to recover from my own troubles."
"I'm sorry, sorry that I have opened up old wounds."
"No. I am glad that you did. I have spent the last two years blaming everyone else for my feeling of loneliness. If I am lonely it is my fault. I have no friends, I have business acquaintances, and customers who are friends for five minutes, and then they are gone. Mother told me that you were a good man, yet I turned my back on you when you were trying to be a friend to me. I didn't want to let you into my life for fear that I might fall in love with you, and I have told myself a thousand times, that I will never allow myself to fall in love again, ever."
"I never thought that you would fall in love with me." (You fucking liar, that's all that you've dreamed of since you first saw her) "I had met your mother a few times and helped her out with little things that needed doing, but I could never have considered myself a friend to her. I went to her funeral and it was the most depressing event of my life. I thought that Jen's funeral was depressing, but I had a wide circle of friends and relatives to support me. Apart from you, the mourners were outnumbered by pallbearers four to one, I was the only mourner. I tried to talk to you after the funeral, but you were lost in yourself."
"I was, wasn't I? I remember you trying to speak to me but I wanted nothing to do with anyone. Do you remember the first time we met?"
"Yes. I'd gone over to do something for your mother and she introduced me to you and, if memory serves, you totally ignored me."
"I did, didn't I? And do you know what Mother said to me after you'd gone?"
"No."
"She said to me, Adrianna, this man is not your husband, he is a good man, he does work for me and will not accept payment for it. You need a man like him, he would be good for you."
"But Mother, he is still a man."
"Yes he is, he is a man, your husband is not a man, and unless you see that, you will be afraid to find love again."
I thought about our conversation. "This is good, this is better than what I have written. I have tried to imagine what a mother and daughter would say in this circumstance, and I've looked at it from a male perspective, just stopping short of laying the blame on the woman's inability to get over her problem, and that's the point, I saw it as her problem when it isn't. In your case it was your husband's problem and until you realises that you will never move on with your life. Help me with this dialogue, please."
"I don't know. This is all so sudden, first you just want me to read your play and now, what you're saying is, you want me to help you write it. I just don't know."
"Let's see how your changes look." I highlighted the original dialogue and deleted it. I then typed in Adrianna's suggested changes. (This seemed to take forever, a combination of my dyslexic fingers and her watching blew what little of my self consciousness right out of the water. Spell checker over-heated with corrections.) "That looks okay, but how will it sound? I'll take your mother's part, you are Katrina." I began in a falsetto voice, trying to sound like an old dying woman. Adrianna came in with her words, her timing was good. "That will work. I can't believe that you have no acting experience."
"What do you mean, I act all of the time in the boutique, do you realise how hard it is to tell some old hag that she looks wonderful in a black lace bra and panties and not burst out laughing. That's way harder than anything that this play will ask me to do."
We worked our way through the script changing little, Adrianna suggested changes to the phraseology to coincide with how her mother spoke. I hadn't intended to use a foreign sentence structure. "Mother was born in Poland and they speak differently to us, I think that I would be more comfortable if the actor playing Mother used the same accent and structure, if that's okay with you."
"I wanted to, but I couldn't remember exactly how she spoke, I'll be guided by you on this."
So we worked through her dialogue, changing words and sequences in line with the way her mother spoke. It added a depth to the dialogue that wasn't in my original. "How would it be if you were given some of the writing credits?"
"I couldn't, all that I'm doing is to offer some suggestions. This play is yours, the storyline is yours, so no, I don't want writing credits, thank you."
The following week the theatre group met to discuss the play prior to casting and rehearsals.
"Could I have your attention please." I addressed them. "This new play is something that has been floating around in my head for some time. It is basically a two hander, the first act is about the return home of a woman, ostensibly to care for her dying mother, but in reality she is running from the wreckage of her own life. This act ends with the mother's funeral. Act 2 is about her drifting through life, touching base briefly with others but not connecting, It is also pretty much a two-hander, a man enters her life and attempts to connect with her, but she will not let him in. I know that it all sounds depressing, but there is a message in this for all of us. Now I would like to introduce you to the lady that I have cast in the lead role of Katerina, Adrianna Conover."
Adrianna stood and smiled at the group, acknowledging the welcome.
"Adrianna has no formal acting experience, but what she brings to this role is something much more important, an understanding of the underlying emotions running through this character. She has been assisting me in the development of Katerina's character. As for the other roles, most of them are walk-ons, there is little dialogue between the main character and these people, but they are equally important to whether this works or not. I have cast myself in the male lead, not because I consider myself the best actor in this group, but because during the development of this character I have come to realise that I have put a lot of myself into this role. As we rehearse this play I hope that you will understand and appreciate my reasoning for this. Okay, Julie, you are Katerina's mother. I have seen you in similar roles and know that you can bring something to the part. Now, I want you all to take home a copy of the script, read it and get a feel for the incidental roles. We will cast them tomorrow and have our first read through straight away."
I handed them each a copy and they read quickly through the first couple of pages. "Henry." Henry was our set designer. "We need four sets, a bedroom and kitchen with a dividing wall projecting out no more than a metre so that it doesn't block the audience's view of the characters, but still delineates between the rooms. Then we need a Funeral Home interior for the end of Act 1. For Act 2 we need two sets, a cafe interior with one of those flappy doors to the kitchen at the back, and a shopping mall set with store fronts, how quickly can I see the sketches?"
"Preliminaries tomorrow, once we decide on the final design the plans will be ready in a week and the sets complete in three, is that soon enough?"
"Perfect. Right people, extras casting and read through tomorrow. First rehearsal next week, okay?"
There was a mumbled response and they all took their scripts and left. Adrianna looked at me. "I don't think that they appreciated your arbitrary selection for the leads."
"They usually grumble over the casting, but they fall into line quickly enough. Now, how are you with your lines, do you want me to run through them with you?"
"I get the impression that you want to, so yes."
"My place for coffee?"
"Sounds good to me."
Ever since she had decided to come on board with me on this, we have spent quite a lot of time together, and I felt that we were getting to know each other, but I wasn't ready to move to anything more at this point, more to the point I felt that she was not yet ready to move on. What we needed for both our sakes, was to get through this play first. We needed to conquer our demons, our fears of trying again to find happiness, and until we clear that hurdle we were both destined to continue as sad and lonely people.
The next night we had assembled in the theatre. "Spencer," John, the usual male lead, and the one person that I thought would object to my casting myself in the lead role, stood up.
"Yes John." I said cautiously.
"I can understand you casting yourself, I don't have a problem with that. My major concern with this direction to the extras to 'talk amongst yourselves'."
"Yes , that. What I want is for those chosen for these roles to carry on an everyday conversation, as if you were meeting socially. For the café scene you will be seated at tables and Katrina will be coming and going through the door at the back, bringing in coffee and cakes and stuff, just like a normal café. Now I want those involved to behave just as they would in that situation, talk about the things that you would usually talk about, laugh if you have to when someone cracks a joke. The one thing that I didn't want to do with this is to write dialogue that would be used each night, this would lead to a lack of spontaneity. The same for the mall scene, you will be walking across the stage carrying on as if you were shopping, talk about the things that you would talk about under those circumstances. Can you understand why I didn't actually write dialogue for these scenes?"
"Yes, I guess so."
"Read the papers, gossip mags and watch TV, work up topics from these sources, just as you normally would. Now is there anyone here that doesn't feel that he or she can carry this off?" The was no response. "Okay, there are obviously more of you here than we can cope with on stage at any one time. I have a solution. What I have done is to divide the cast up into two groups, the café group and the mall group. This avoids the situation of the audience recognising people who appear in both scenes, it also means that you won't have to think up two different things to say. Any objections?" There were none. "Okay, those of you who want to be in the café scene, and if you're on a diet I suggest that you stay away from that scene, could you put your names on the sheet on that table over there, the others, your sheet is on this table. We will work our way through them, there could be changes, we don't want all the guys in the café scene and not in the mall scene, things like that."
The cast sorted themselves into two roughly equal groups, some went to join one group, and seeing a lack of balance, chose instead the other.
"Good. Now you will have noticed that my character has very little to say, and this is not because I'm hopeless at remembering my lines, it is because my character is torn between his own solitude, and his trying to get up the courage to do something about it. He is basically a coward, and reluctant to take that next step. In the final scene, just as the curtain comes down, he is forced into it. So, in the café scene he will wander in, and look as if he's about to place an order with Katrina, and then retreat out of there. You will all react just as you would if this happened in real life, some will notice it, and their eyes will follow him out, others will not notice him. Some of you will notice the look on Katrina's face as she stares at his retreating back. I'll leave that entirely up to you to sort out."
"The first act is basically a two hander between Katrina and her mother, who is not named. It also introduces, briefly, my character, also not named, who comes in to do some work for the mother and then leaves. He is not seen again until the funeral scene. Julie, have you had some time to get your head around your character? Remember, she is a very sick person who has the time to dwell on her past, and why it is that she is in her present situation, friendless. The back story for those who are interested is that she has never really gotten over the death of her husband, and the fact that Katrina had not listened to her warnings about the man that she married. She is wracked with guilt after Katrina comes home, could she have done more in the beginning, and what could she do now that she is too sick to do much? Against that is the fact that Katrina has not contacted her in the seven years that she was married."
"Katrina, on the other hand, is feeling guilty because she had shut her mother out of her life, and just when she needs her the most, she is too sick and is carrying too much baggage to be of any help. She is lost and alone, and unable to move on with her life."
"My character has his own problems. He lost his wife and unborn child in a botched hold-up twelve years ago, and has retreated inside himself and refused to allow anyone to invade his personal space, his personal hell. He helps Katrina's mother from time to time with little jobs, but this is the only contact outside his world. He knows of Katrina before she comes home, her mother has often expressed regret that the two of them have severed contact, so he sort of knows what Katrina is going through. He feels empathy for her, and when he meets her, he is taken by her beauty. His tentative attempts at making contact are rebuffed, and this hurts him deeply."
"From the proceeds of her divorce, Katrina buys a café, and this gives her a series of short-term relationships that have no hope of being extended. In this she finds a kind of comfort. The man has a hobby that provides him with casual relationships with people with similar interests, but these people, because they have other interests, do not lead to anything meaningful. He too is living in a solitary world."
"So, that's the background to this story, which, despite it's heavy subject matter, does have an implied happy ending, the audience will be left wondering at the possibilities that are presented. Will the possibilities be realised, or will they die the death because of our protagonists fear of taking that next important step?"
"Okay, Julie, could you and Adrianna read through your lines. It doesn't matter if you don't nail it at this time, I just want you to get a feel for the characters. As we go through this reading and into rehearsals, I want you to speak in your normal voices. When it comes to the actual performances you will all be miked up, and we'll have a sound engineer manipulating the volume so that those that need to be heard clearly will be, and the extras background noise will, in most cases be kept low with occasional higher levels for effect."
The first reading went better than I had expected. Adrianna was right into her role and at the end of Scene 1, the other cast burst into spontaneous applause. Adrianna smiled at me.
When they reached the part of Scene 1, where I was introduced to Katrina, she looked straight through me as if I didn't exist. She had the look perfected and I could really feel myself the way I felt when this happened in real life.
"You were good, better than good." I told her as we left the theatre after that first reading. This isn't going to drag you down, this reliving the past, is it, because if it is we can call the whole thing off."
"No, its not a problem, although I might burst into tears from time to time. That isn't going to be a problem, with make-up that is, is it?"
"No, although runny mascara might add to the effect. We shall see what we shall see."
As we progressed through rehearsals, the cast got right into the spirit of their part in this. They changed their conversations, keeping them relevant and contemporary. Not having to remember lines kept their conversations fresh, and not stilted as it would if they were forced to follow a script.
It was the night of the dress rehearsal. The theatre was abuzz with activity, the lighting technician was running through the lighting cues, checking the directional spots and floods, raising and lowering the intensity and eliminating shadows. The sound engineer was carrying out adjustments to the personal microphones. In front of house the ushers were showing the invited audience to their seats. The final sound check would take place once the audience was seated.
Backstage make-up was busy, the main characters had been made up and the rest of the cast was going through a production line process, moving from base to shading to completion. Last minute adjustments were being made to costumes.
The production assistant poked her head through the door. "Adrianna, Julie, five minutes."
"Wish me luck." Adrianna said to me.
I smiled at her. "You don't need it, you're ready. But good luck any way." I pecked her on the cheek.
"Okay guys, this is it, you are all ready for this, so go out there and knock 'em dead."
"Two minutes."
Adrianna took a final look at herself in the mirror, kissed Julie on the cheek. "Good luck Mama."
"You too." Julie patted her on the cheek. The two of them had grown close during rehearsals.
Act 1, Scene 1. Curtain opens on a dark set. Light rises as Mama gets out of bed and puts on a robe. She mutters to herself as she shuffles, stooped, to the kitchen. She puts the kettle on and spoons some instant coffee into a cup. While she waits for the kettle to boil she takes a bowl from a cupboard and pours cereal into it, then adds milk. Pouring water into the cup she sits down to breakfast. She takes a spoonful of cereal and puts it into her mouth before pushing the bowl to one side. She drinks half of her coffee, stands up and shuffles back to her bed.
There is a knock on her door (sound off). She gets off the bed and shuffles to stage right.
Mother:"Who is this knocking?"
Katrina:"Mama, it is me, Katrina."
Mother: "Katrina, is it you?"
Katrina:"Yes it's me Mama, let me in."
(Sound of door opening. Katrina enters and places a large suitcase on the floor beside the table.
Mother:"What is this?"
Katrina:"I've come home Mama."
Mother:"Where is your man, is he with you?"
Katrina: "No Mama, I have left him. He is a bad man and I am going to divorce him."
Mother: "This is good, I never liked him."
Katrina:"I know that Mama, I know that now."
Mother:"You listen to me girl. When your father died I shut myself off from the world, I wanted nothing more to do with it. And you see what the result is. I am dying, and I am dying alone, because those people who tried to be a friend to me, I turned my back on. Do not do this or you will be like me."
Katerina: "But Mother you have me."
Mother:"Did I have you when your father died? No. Did I have you when the doctor told me that I was dying? No. You come to me only when my life is over, to help me die. It is too late for your help, if this is all that you have come for, you wasted the trip."
Katerina:But Mama, I have to come, I cannot stay any longer in the same place as my husband, he has hurt me as you said that he would. He is a bad man."
Mother:"What did he do that has hurt you so bad?"
Katerina: "He wants to do things to me that are wrong. I cannot let him fuck me in the arse. I cannot let him tie me up and whip me. I cannot let him pee on me. These are just some of the things that he wants to do to me. Then I find out that he has a girl that lets him do these things. I can no longer even allow him to touch me, so I leave."
Mother:"For this reason it is good that you come to me. Do not turn your back on people because this bad man has hurt you. But it is not a good time for me. I will die soon."
Katrina:"Don't say that Mama, you will not die soon, I am here to help you."
Mother:"You know nothing about me. The Doctor he tells me that I will be gone in three months."
Katrina:"Is this your breakfast? You haven't eaten it, you haven't eaten much at all."
Mother:"I do not feel like eating. I never feel like eating."
Katrina:"But you must eat. I will make you a fresh coffee and you should eat something."
Mother:"Do not fuss, it is too late for fussing, I will eat when I feel like eating and now I do not feel like eating. What are you going to do when I am gone?"
Katrina:"I do not know. I will have money from the divorce, I thought that I might buy a small boutique or something, that way I am not working with the same people every day, and once they walk out the door I will not remember them."
Mother:"Listen to my Katrina, I tell you this, you cannot live without other people in your life, without fiends. You do not have to marry again, but you need a good man to show you that not all men are like the ne that you had to marry."
Katrina:"The last thing that I want in my life is another man. I don't know any good men, and I am not going to go looking for one."
Mother: "There are good men out there, there is one for you, you will just have to learn to recognise a good man when you find one."
Knock on door. Mother goes to answer it and returns with man.
Mother: "Can you fix the sink, the water doesn't run away like it should."
Man:"Sure think, I'll just need to take the things from this cupboard so I can get to the trap underneath. Oh Hi."
He had just noticed Katrina. She does not respond. He says nothing but removes trap from under sink and takes it outside to clean out. He re-installs it.
Man:"There, that should do the trick for the time being, but this will happen again of you keep pouring fat down the drain. 'Bye now."
Man quickly exits stage right.
Mother: "Now Katrina, there is a good man, he does small jobs for me and he won't take money from me. He is friendly, he is kind, and he would be just the right man for you."
Katrina:"I am not ready for a new relationship now or any time soon, so you can stop trying to match me up with this man."
Mother:"You listen to me my girl. If you turn your back on your friends you will find that very soon you have no friends. I turn my back on my friends and now I have none. Do not do the same as me. It can be a lonely life without friends"
Katrina: "What do you know of this man, does he have friends himself? Is he married? Is he in a relationship? What does he do for a living? Tell me, what is it about this man that leads you to think that he is a good man?"
Mother:"What I know is that he is a good man to me, that is all that I need to know. If he is a good man to a dying woman and asks for nothing in return, then he is a better man than the one that you chose."
Katrina:"That doesn't say much, any man is better than that monster. I am not ready to even think about another man because I am afraid that I will make the same mistake all over again. Isn't it time for your medication or something?"
Mother: "So you change the subject. Do not leave it too late or you will end up a lonely old woman like me, and I would not wish that on anybody. My pills are on that shelf there, (points to pill container) bring them to me, and a glass of water."
Act 1, Scene 2: Mother is in bed. Katrina is seated at kitchen table reading a newspaper and drinking coffee.
Mother:"Katrina, come to me."
Katrina:"What is it Mama?"
Mother:"I feel that my time has come. When I pass you are to call my neighbour, he has been told what to do."
Katrina:"What can I do now? What am I going to do after you are gone?"
"Mother: "I have planned for this day, he will see to everything."
Katrina:"But why does he have to be the one to do this?"
Mother: "Because I did not know that you would be here, and someone has to do it. He, I know that I can trust to do this thing."
Katrina: "But mother I am able to do this thing now. I can do this now, tell me where everything is, your doctor, I presume that you have funeral arrangements already made."
Mother:"I do not have time to tell you all of this. Please let me sleep now." (Mother closes eyes)
Katrina sits on the bed, bows her head and sobs quietly into her hands. She stays in this position for a minute or two and turns to her mother.
Katrina:"Mother, can you hear me?"
She gets no response. She places her fingers on her mother's neck feeling for a pulse. There is none. She lays down beside her mother and hugs her, sobbing louder.
Act 2, Scene 3: Shopping Mall. People walking back and forth as individuals and in groups. Katrina enters stage left and walks slowly, deep in thought towards centre stage.
Man enters stage right and walks by her and stops. She has seen him and stops. He half turns as if to say something to her, then turns back. As he turns he is jostled by a person and falls against Katrina and they fall to the ground. He gets to his feet and holds his hand out to help her to her feet. They face each other.
Man:"Are you okay, you're not hurt?"
Katrina:"No, I'm fine thank you. How about you?"
Man:"Never been better actually, I'm glad that we bumped into each other like this, it gives me the perfect excuse to speak to you. Katrina, why do you hate me?"
Katrina:"I don't hate you. If the truth be known I have wanted to speak to you for ages, but was afraid to, afraid of falling in love again. Now I need you to do something for me, will you?"
Man:"Of course, what do you want me to do?
Katrina: "Will you hold me, please?"
Man:"I won't ask what brought this on, but gladly." They embrace.
Adrianna hugged me. We kissed, which wasn't in the script, until now.
"We had better take our bow." I told her, holding her hand. She made no attempt to let go. "We need to talk."
"We do, don't we? I hope that I'm not about to make a fool of myself, but I have come to the realisation that I love you."
"Another bow," I said as the rest of the cast had joined us on stage. "When we get home we can talk, in private."
"Again, I hope that I am not about to make a fool of myself, but I hope that we won't be stopping at words."
My heart skipped a beat or several. My dreams are about to become a reality.
Back stage and all are laughing and chatting as Adrianna and I walked in. There was a queue for the mirrors as make-up was removed. Those waiting sat around sipping on glasses of wine, some were smoking, although this was frowned upon by theatre management, it was overlooked on this occasion.
"I think that went pretty well. Thanks guys, you were all good, but tomorrow night is the biggy, tomorrow we perform in font of the paying public, and the critics, so we'd better be as good, if not better than tonight. Go home and get a good night's sleep and I'll see you here tomorrow at six."
"I hope that you're going to get a good night's sleep, the two of you." John said, looking at Adrianna and me.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"Come on mate. All the way through rehearsal there has been a change in attitude between the two of you, you've become more relaxed, not only with us, but with each other, and where in the script does it say that the two of you were supposed to kiss?"
"I guess that I just got a little carried away." I looked at Adrianna and she smiled at me.
"I didn't notice Adrianna struggling to get away from you."
"Adrianna had no intention of getting away from him." Adrianna said. "You are right, we are two individuals that have been dealt a blow that neither of us felt motivated to recover from. That was until we met and Spencer forced me at gunpoint to read this stupid play and to convince me that I should take on the female lead. This was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me, to us, but it took time for me to realise what was happening to me, and allow it to happen. I don't know about Spencer, but I think that we should leave the kiss in, it worked for me."
I pulled into my driveway and stopped my car. "Do you want me to walk you home?"
"No, I want you to walk me into your home, and then I want us to relax a little before you take me into your arms and carry me to your bed and show me the difference between sex and making love, and I show you that you are able to love again."
"For someone who has been shit scared to take the necessary steps to overcome the hurt from your husband, you have certainly taken the bull by the horn here. Not that I'm complaining mind you."
We somehow forgot about the relaxation. No sooner than we had closed the door behind us than we made a bee-line for my bed, our bed, and an hour or two of the most sublime lovemaking that I have ever experienced, at least since Jen and I made love. For someone who has suffered in the hands of a sadistic, hedonistic and selfish lover, Adrianna joined in with enthusiasm. Her mother was right, I would be good for her.
We have found each other, and in the process of this play and the theatre group production, we have found many new friends, good friends. Adrianna's boutique's business has picked up due to the friendships that we have made, and her boutique's reputation for quality high-end lingerie. More and more women are exploring the benefits to be gained by being privately sexy for their husbands and partners.
As for me, I have several new projects on the go, including another film script. We are busy with each other, our lives and friends, and life doesn't get much better than that. As for cats and dogs. I have learnt that unconditional love is more than a response to positive stimulants like food and affection, that there are times when you love in the absence of stimulus. Adrianna has learnt that conditional love is a one way street to loneliness, and that shows of affection can generate a very powerful positive response that is worth the little effort involved.
